The true blessing of having choices

After the birth of our second daughter (I'll explain our first daughter's situation later), I needed to go back to work. My husband was changing careers, I was the chief bread winner and provider of health benefits. I was able to work out a decent schedule - 3 days in the office or with clients and the balance of the week working from home.

I was blessed to have my mom take care of Ava two days per week, while my husband was able to watch Ava and Sydney one day per week. Fantastic!! While it was very difficult (I don't think I have the words) I knew I needed to make this happen...or not pay the mortgage!! I at least was able to stay home until Ava was four months old, which was incredible.

As my first year closed in, my sales numbers exceeded targets, I got to see my mom regularly since she and my dad lived @ two hours away, and my husband was experiencing great success in his new career.

When we started thinking about having another baby I developed this deep pit in my stomach. I enjoyed what I did professionally, but it was becoming less satisfying and more stressful not to be home. I never worried about the care of my child, it was a different kind of feeling. One that was bigger than I could explain.

As my husband's success increased and my new pregnancy began, I felt compelled to tell my employer right away that I was not coming back in my role or for the same time commitment. I would help hire and train a replacement, and we'd discuss my ideas for something I could do in less than 20 hours per week. Whew!! Did that feel good to say!!

I started feeling the beginnings of realizing how incredibly lucky I am to have choices in my life. This world is riddled with life situations that don't allow a mother or father to consider choices - single parents have one of the heaviest burdens to carry and it's hard to imagine the stress they manage on a day to day basis. This new feeling of mine would only grow stronger as I welcomed our newest daughter, Calley, to the family. And after she celebrated her first birthday I started re-evaluating my choices again...and made some surprising and not-so-surprising decisions.