Hmm...do any of these sound familiar?
Chef
Financial Manager
Head Merchandise Buyer
Scheduling Manager
Chaperon
Storyteller
Transportation Specialist (ugh!)
First Medical Responder
Tutor
Coach
Tailor
Laundress
Housekeeper
Estate Manager
Vacation Planner
Landscaper
Gardner
Playdate Organizer
Spiritual Leader/Coach
Activities Coordinator (I think of Julie, from the Loveboat!)
Event Planner
Chief Communication Officer
Community Volunteer
Then we have:
Neighbor
Sister
Daughter
Wife
Friend
Best Friend
Granddaughter
Co-Worker
Oh yeah, and then there's stuff like:
Potty Trainer
Vomit Clean-up Specialist
Tantrum Manager
Get out the Door Lady (Darn it, can we please just get out the door w/o a fuss?)
Diaper Changer
Food Chucker Clean-Up Specialist
Disciplinarian
Teenager Survivor
Driving Instructor
Worry Wart
And then you might be fitting in some professional work:
Nurse
Lawyer
Sales Exec
Physician
IT Consultant
Accountant
Marketing/PR Consultant
Human Resources Generalist
Business Owner
Writer
Teacher
Artist
Musician
Should I keep going...or do we get it!?
Give yourself some slack and be gentle to your spirit on those tough days when you think you've simply just lost your mind. Rest assure that you haven't lost it, it's just being applied in a million directions!
Have a super weekend!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Blah, blah, blah...I get it!
Sometimes I can be a bit direct when it comes to beliefs or ideas that I feel deeply about or find ridiculous...try to love me!
So, now what? Now that you have a peek into my life and how I think, you can see how important it is to gather more support for how you make your family the first priority in life. It is no secret that this is not easy!
For some of us, it means giving up successful professional lives that were once the center of our attention. These lives once defined us - monopolized our time, provided motivation for all the hard work, helped us feel a sense of purpose, made us proud of our accomplishments. These lives also conditioned us - especially as young married couples - to have the world at our feet. Nice homes, clothes, cars, vacations, retirement savings, etc.
So, now that we've stepped aside from the beat of this drum, how do we re-program what makes us feel accomplished, successful, worthy every day? Sometimes it's difficult to compare the challenges of today (making it to school on time, remembering to bring snack to preschool, getting everyone out the door to church on Sundays without a hitch) to the "mountains" we used to climb in the corporate world.
For me, it's mostly about perspective. I don't know about you, but it took me a while to remember how much babysitting I did in my professional life!! Really!! Shepherding people, projects, time lines, deadlines, conflicts, relationships...you name it. One day it just clicked. I'd much rather spend the time shepherding my own children!
Now, this doesn't provide the cure to all of my challenges, but it's a good example of the perspective shifting that is required to keep moving and stay positive. At first I did miss the projects and relationships from the work world. As time progressed I began to notice all of the opportunities for me to contribute and feel a sense of accomplishment - they were all around me. The career coach in me felt a little embarrassed for not realizing this sooner, but three kids each two years apart can do that to ya!
There are plenty of ways to stay engaged professionally - from negotiating part-time or contract work for the company you have or still work with, community projects, consulting assignments, school support, church work, etc. There are emerging companies who help moms who have enjoyed professional success find fulfilling and challenging work in the marketplace. This task requires a lot of conversation at the executive level to campaign for and make the logical business case for providing such opportunities. This has been tough to do one-on-one - as some of you already know. The fact that this support is growing on an enterprise wide level is a tremendous step in the right direction.
The other perspective that I had trouble realizing was that the time we provide our children will effect lifetimes to come. The decision to step out or down professionally has short-term consequences, ones that will be behind us before we know it. There is a certain level of confidence that comes with this notion. It feels good...quite good!
At the end of the day it's about the choices you make that will help you and your family stay healthy, connected, supported, loved and vibrant. Keeping your family first should be less about rhetoric and more about preparing for and executing a plan that reflects our priorities...and not being afraid to share it!
So, now what? Now that you have a peek into my life and how I think, you can see how important it is to gather more support for how you make your family the first priority in life. It is no secret that this is not easy!
For some of us, it means giving up successful professional lives that were once the center of our attention. These lives once defined us - monopolized our time, provided motivation for all the hard work, helped us feel a sense of purpose, made us proud of our accomplishments. These lives also conditioned us - especially as young married couples - to have the world at our feet. Nice homes, clothes, cars, vacations, retirement savings, etc.
So, now that we've stepped aside from the beat of this drum, how do we re-program what makes us feel accomplished, successful, worthy every day? Sometimes it's difficult to compare the challenges of today (making it to school on time, remembering to bring snack to preschool, getting everyone out the door to church on Sundays without a hitch) to the "mountains" we used to climb in the corporate world.
For me, it's mostly about perspective. I don't know about you, but it took me a while to remember how much babysitting I did in my professional life!! Really!! Shepherding people, projects, time lines, deadlines, conflicts, relationships...you name it. One day it just clicked. I'd much rather spend the time shepherding my own children!
Now, this doesn't provide the cure to all of my challenges, but it's a good example of the perspective shifting that is required to keep moving and stay positive. At first I did miss the projects and relationships from the work world. As time progressed I began to notice all of the opportunities for me to contribute and feel a sense of accomplishment - they were all around me. The career coach in me felt a little embarrassed for not realizing this sooner, but three kids each two years apart can do that to ya!
There are plenty of ways to stay engaged professionally - from negotiating part-time or contract work for the company you have or still work with, community projects, consulting assignments, school support, church work, etc. There are emerging companies who help moms who have enjoyed professional success find fulfilling and challenging work in the marketplace. This task requires a lot of conversation at the executive level to campaign for and make the logical business case for providing such opportunities. This has been tough to do one-on-one - as some of you already know. The fact that this support is growing on an enterprise wide level is a tremendous step in the right direction.
The other perspective that I had trouble realizing was that the time we provide our children will effect lifetimes to come. The decision to step out or down professionally has short-term consequences, ones that will be behind us before we know it. There is a certain level of confidence that comes with this notion. It feels good...quite good!
At the end of the day it's about the choices you make that will help you and your family stay healthy, connected, supported, loved and vibrant. Keeping your family first should be less about rhetoric and more about preparing for and executing a plan that reflects our priorities...and not being afraid to share it!
Monday, May 17, 2010
One part optimist, one part realist
Yup, that's me. Truth be told, the realist in me has been growing for years, yet I refuse to let it capture more than half of me! The evolution from being a whole-hearted optimist to a realist who continually fends off cynicism has transpired mostly due to life experience...and sometimes not my own.
We all do it...our whole lives we've watched how other people live theirs. I don't think I appreciated or feared this more than when I became a mother. Until then, it was all about me, really. Sure, I helped my neighbors, volunteered, supported my family, etc. But mostly, it was all about me and my successful career. And the consequences for my selfishness or self-centered point of view were mine - and heck, they usually produced more income!
The consequences for my decisions, priorities and behavior are now undoubtedly linked to my family...my husband and three daughters. And the simple truth is this - our children need us! We don't need clinical research to prove this theory. How have we gotten so off course in life to ever think that this is not the case? It doesn't take piles of statistics to tell us that parents running full tilt at their own careers while simultaneously raising a family has harmful side effects.
Sure, many of us at one time or another are seduced by the impression that we can juggle it all. But why should we? Who says we should? If the voice answering you is not your own there's a good chance that we have some priority re-arranging to do!
Why should we put anything before the most important job on the planet? We get one shot at raising our kids...there are no "do overs". We are in charge of nurturing our children emotionally, academically, spiritually and pysically. If you share my feelings then get ready to start taking some steps together to strengthen our voice on this matter. We need help and we need mothers and fathers to be courageous enough to say that the way we're herded into raising our children today just won't do. Our over-reaching and demanding careers, our never-ending war with materialism and our lack of rewarding and challenging part-time work must be put to bed!
So, the realist in me says:
Stop watching and mimicking how people that you don't really admire live.
The optimist in me says:
Start finding and supporting families that have figured out how to put their priorities in the right order.
We all do it...our whole lives we've watched how other people live theirs. I don't think I appreciated or feared this more than when I became a mother. Until then, it was all about me, really. Sure, I helped my neighbors, volunteered, supported my family, etc. But mostly, it was all about me and my successful career. And the consequences for my selfishness or self-centered point of view were mine - and heck, they usually produced more income!
The consequences for my decisions, priorities and behavior are now undoubtedly linked to my family...my husband and three daughters. And the simple truth is this - our children need us! We don't need clinical research to prove this theory. How have we gotten so off course in life to ever think that this is not the case? It doesn't take piles of statistics to tell us that parents running full tilt at their own careers while simultaneously raising a family has harmful side effects.
Sure, many of us at one time or another are seduced by the impression that we can juggle it all. But why should we? Who says we should? If the voice answering you is not your own there's a good chance that we have some priority re-arranging to do!
Why should we put anything before the most important job on the planet? We get one shot at raising our kids...there are no "do overs". We are in charge of nurturing our children emotionally, academically, spiritually and pysically. If you share my feelings then get ready to start taking some steps together to strengthen our voice on this matter. We need help and we need mothers and fathers to be courageous enough to say that the way we're herded into raising our children today just won't do. Our over-reaching and demanding careers, our never-ending war with materialism and our lack of rewarding and challenging part-time work must be put to bed!
So, the realist in me says:
Stop watching and mimicking how people that you don't really admire live.
The optimist in me says:
Start finding and supporting families that have figured out how to put their priorities in the right order.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Honoring motherhood
Well, we all know that Mother's Day was just a few short days ago. With a wide range of ideas for how to honor mothers, I'm sure we've seen just about everything. From high priced florals, fine jewelery, audacious have-to-have handbags to the latest and greatest iPod accessory...there always seems to be an unnecessary amount of retail induced pressure of this purchase (especially on our husbands!).
For me, the day is just a little taste of what you hope is going on in the hearts and minds of my children, manifested in a bit of pampering (tea and cinnamon rolls in bed) and homemade pieces of art. I really, really love the sparkling eyes and ear-to-ear grin from a child who is totally proud of what they created just for you!!
For my mom and I, the holiday serves as a reminder for us to schedule time together that week...no hubbies, kids or distractions! The day itself provides an opportunity for me to show my mom how special she is to me and my family. I usually make a card - no Hallmark necessary! Expressing myself through the written word is what other artists do through music, or painting. I get to hit the "pause" button and pull the thoughts from my heart into a written form I can share. It's the most creative part of me that I know. Now, I'm not saying the illustration is a hit...thank goodness for stamps and stickers!
My mom has transformed from not only being my mother, but my best friend. She is always there for me, and for us. No matter what the need might be...cooking, watching the girls, picking up something from the store, doing little things around our house when I'm not looking, or picking up coffee and chatting about a difficult situation. I've decided that it is the culmination of all the little things that she has done for us through the years that makes her the glue of our family.
From time to time she has compared herself to other mothers thinking she didn't do enough, achieve enough or earn a paycheck or title that was more respectable in her mind. I remind her that she is and always will be a rebel. A rebel that has not let time, people, selfishness or things get in between her and her brood. And THAT is a life lesson on motherhood that will carry through for lifetimes to come.
For me, the day is just a little taste of what you hope is going on in the hearts and minds of my children, manifested in a bit of pampering (tea and cinnamon rolls in bed) and homemade pieces of art. I really, really love the sparkling eyes and ear-to-ear grin from a child who is totally proud of what they created just for you!!
For my mom and I, the holiday serves as a reminder for us to schedule time together that week...no hubbies, kids or distractions! The day itself provides an opportunity for me to show my mom how special she is to me and my family. I usually make a card - no Hallmark necessary! Expressing myself through the written word is what other artists do through music, or painting. I get to hit the "pause" button and pull the thoughts from my heart into a written form I can share. It's the most creative part of me that I know. Now, I'm not saying the illustration is a hit...thank goodness for stamps and stickers!
My mom has transformed from not only being my mother, but my best friend. She is always there for me, and for us. No matter what the need might be...cooking, watching the girls, picking up something from the store, doing little things around our house when I'm not looking, or picking up coffee and chatting about a difficult situation. I've decided that it is the culmination of all the little things that she has done for us through the years that makes her the glue of our family.
From time to time she has compared herself to other mothers thinking she didn't do enough, achieve enough or earn a paycheck or title that was more respectable in her mind. I remind her that she is and always will be a rebel. A rebel that has not let time, people, selfishness or things get in between her and her brood. And THAT is a life lesson on motherhood that will carry through for lifetimes to come.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
So, why now? Why this?
There are several moms, including my own, who have helped me navigate through these first years of motherhood. And thank goodness for this support structure! I have met so many mothers along the way; neighbors, fellow preschool moms, aunts & cousins, past colleagues, church friends, yoga buddies, voting line acquaintances, community center classmates...you get the picture! Some of these supporters have existed for years or even decades, yet some have been a single conversation waiting for our children to come out of their first tumbling class. Surprisingly, so many insightful discussions have occurred in this fleeting manner. What a gift!
What I've noticed is that outside of my own "circle" there is not a community for moms to gather who wrestle with the short and long-term issues of prioritizing motherhood. We have stay-at-home mom local support groups, and working mother blogs, magazines and such for mothers who stay in the workforce full-time. Where do the mothers who have made "in-between" choices go for support, ideas, career advice and a place to share?
This is my passion; this is why I'm launching www.inspiringmotherhood.com.
I want to hear your story - WE, want to hear your story. Together, we will bring the role of motherhood to the level it deserves in our hustling & bustling society. Not viewed as a sacrifice, but as an honor and a responibility that we embrace. And instead of fearing the reaction to having this role listed on your resume as a fatal gap in experience, it will be simply regarded as an example of your ability to prioritize critical life choices.
Join me! Sign up as a follower of this blog...and invite a few moms along the way!
What I've noticed is that outside of my own "circle" there is not a community for moms to gather who wrestle with the short and long-term issues of prioritizing motherhood. We have stay-at-home mom local support groups, and working mother blogs, magazines and such for mothers who stay in the workforce full-time. Where do the mothers who have made "in-between" choices go for support, ideas, career advice and a place to share?
This is my passion; this is why I'm launching www.inspiringmotherhood.com.
I want to hear your story - WE, want to hear your story. Together, we will bring the role of motherhood to the level it deserves in our hustling & bustling society. Not viewed as a sacrifice, but as an honor and a responibility that we embrace. And instead of fearing the reaction to having this role listed on your resume as a fatal gap in experience, it will be simply regarded as an example of your ability to prioritize critical life choices.
Join me! Sign up as a follower of this blog...and invite a few moms along the way!
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