Sometimes I can be a bit direct when it comes to beliefs or ideas that I feel deeply about or find ridiculous...try to love me!
So, now what? Now that you have a peek into my life and how I think, you can see how important it is to gather more support for how you make your family the first priority in life. It is no secret that this is not easy!
For some of us, it means giving up successful professional lives that were once the center of our attention. These lives once defined us - monopolized our time, provided motivation for all the hard work, helped us feel a sense of purpose, made us proud of our accomplishments. These lives also conditioned us - especially as young married couples - to have the world at our feet. Nice homes, clothes, cars, vacations, retirement savings, etc.
So, now that we've stepped aside from the beat of this drum, how do we re-program what makes us feel accomplished, successful, worthy every day? Sometimes it's difficult to compare the challenges of today (making it to school on time, remembering to bring snack to preschool, getting everyone out the door to church on Sundays without a hitch) to the "mountains" we used to climb in the corporate world.
For me, it's mostly about perspective. I don't know about you, but it took me a while to remember how much babysitting I did in my professional life!! Really!! Shepherding people, projects, time lines, deadlines, conflicts, relationships...you name it. One day it just clicked. I'd much rather spend the time shepherding my own children!
Now, this doesn't provide the cure to all of my challenges, but it's a good example of the perspective shifting that is required to keep moving and stay positive. At first I did miss the projects and relationships from the work world. As time progressed I began to notice all of the opportunities for me to contribute and feel a sense of accomplishment - they were all around me. The career coach in me felt a little embarrassed for not realizing this sooner, but three kids each two years apart can do that to ya!
There are plenty of ways to stay engaged professionally - from negotiating part-time or contract work for the company you have or still work with, community projects, consulting assignments, school support, church work, etc. There are emerging companies who help moms who have enjoyed professional success find fulfilling and challenging work in the marketplace. This task requires a lot of conversation at the executive level to campaign for and make the logical business case for providing such opportunities. This has been tough to do one-on-one - as some of you already know. The fact that this support is growing on an enterprise wide level is a tremendous step in the right direction.
The other perspective that I had trouble realizing was that the time we provide our children will effect lifetimes to come. The decision to step out or down professionally has short-term consequences, ones that will be behind us before we know it. There is a certain level of confidence that comes with this notion. It feels good...quite good!
At the end of the day it's about the choices you make that will help you and your family stay healthy, connected, supported, loved and vibrant. Keeping your family first should be less about rhetoric and more about preparing for and executing a plan that reflects our priorities...and not being afraid to share it!
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