Helping our kids become resilient

I've had some great conversations with moms and dads about helping our kids develop a profound characteristic - resilience. Each of our young daughter's personalities and "hard-wiring" is pretty different, making this tough.

How is it that kids react so differently to similar situations? How does one daughter not seem to give a hoot about what other people think about what she wears, compared to another who her wants to know what the other sister is wearing to church before choosing her outfit?

One sister doesn't seem to pay attention to who sits next to her at the picnic, and another gets upset when a friend chooses to sit with another friend?

Or how about how our children react when another child says mean things to him or her? Some are able to brush it off and walk away, and some run away with tears streaming down their faces...along with a broken heart.

Teaching our children to be resilient will take many approaches and unique opportunities. It certainly starts in our own home. Coaching our children when they are relating to one another is a prime opportunity. Consider it on-the-job training - it was always my best form of learning.

It gets tougher when you are coaching just one side of the team. This becomes more difficult for many reasons - obviously, we are not around to observe all of the situations going on outside our home. We rely on an established foundation of open communication with our kids to even become aware of what they are dealing with at school or the park. We also don't always have a team approach with another parent - which can be very disappointing.

Resilience training is an ongoing process, and I believe it is a life-long trait that pays dividends throughout a person's entire life. Some of us are naturally better at this than others, but make no mistake...it can be learned! Our time with our children is precious and limited - making the most of our teaching moments can feel overwhelming at times. Yet knowing what's at stake keeps us focused.

I can't think of many situations in our lives that don't require resilience. And even though helping our kids develop this strength can be difficult, you know that you are preparing them for whatever comes their way. That no matter what, they will stand tall, strong and courageous. Because above all, they know who they are, what they stand for and that this is NOT changing!