I'm a stepmom, too

This topic is a little harder to write about because it is wrapped in so many layers of emotion. As a society and as a family unit, this role needs a voice, too!

Unfortunately this role is dripping with negativity - from evil fairytale pretense to lots of everyday heartbreaking examples of what NOT to do as a stepparent...I feel like I've been hiking up the mountain from the beginning!

Yet what is at the summit is such an amazing gift. A little girl that would have never come into my life without experiencing the journey I've traveled thus far. And this gift - even the pure recognition that she is indeed a gift - is what keeps me climbing every day.

What has helped me build the confidence I need to be an extra parental counselor happens to be her strong, committed father. Having a husband understand and support the appropriate role for a stepmom has been the key to a never ending puzzle. For every family it's a bit different depending on the situation. It's critical for the biological parents to define and coach the stepparent in their home!! When this relationship struggles, all of the parental figures struggle around that child. And let me tell ya...it is far from fun.

I've searched high and low to find local resources that support step/blended families and continue to come up empty handed. From a mom's perspective, whether you are the stepmom or the mom needing to integrate a child into a stepmom relationship, this process is complicated to say the least! Since most mom's manage calendars, school communication, family activities, etc., getting and keeping this relationship on a productive track can make or break your entire family's well-being.

I know that I am truly blessed to have Sydney in my life - and know that we are meant to be in each other's lives for reasons I trust are bigger than my brain can wrap around on most days. She has two half sisters in our family and one half brother with her mom and step-dad. We all love her and are there for her no matter what she's up to.

Frankly, most of our tense conversations are about how or where her time is spent...each family wanting more and more of a finite resource that seems to be ticking away at a rapid rate that we all would like to see slow down. And for now I'll take it - we all know that we can't predict what tomorrow will bring. But we do get to be in charge of how we utilize the day at hand. My favorite days are always the ones that include my surprise gift...a "bonus" daughter that teaches me and challenges me in ways I never expected.